Exploring relationships, intimacy, boundaries, and love

Date: Saturday, May 30, 2009

Time: 8:30 am – 3:30 pm

Location: Rothman Institute at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Madison, NJ

Workshop led by Dr. Jeanne Weikert, Founder of New Life Institute

In this exciting “How Do I Love Thee” workshop, Dr. Weikert and the New Life Institute staff will help you

• Explore the importance of your relationships
• Discover the origins of your beliefs about loving and being loved
• Understand roles and boundaries in families
• Create new opportunities for making your relationships even more meaningful

Why Should I Attend?

At the New Life Institute, we understand that many of us would like
a more satisfying life. That’s why we have carefully designed workshops that will help you to become happier, more effective and more fulfilled.

These workshops are ideally suited for:

• Anyone seeking new possibilities for themselves
• People who are in transition, changing careers, or retiring
• People who are feeling a bit “stuck” or overwhelmed
• Anyone who wants to be more effective or happier,

How to Register

Workshop fee is $295. Lunch and workshop materials are included.
Bring a friend and your friend comes for FREE

Please call 212-202-3259 to register. Seating is limited so please make your reservations soon. A map will be mailed or emailed to you upon registration.

Thank God for dreamers. Without them the world would be a barren place. Once in a while we see a dream that gets realized right in front of us. It takes our breath away. Our cynicism is stripped away. Scales fall from our eyes and we enter the pure luminosity of someone’s dream, and for a period of time we are bathed in pure unmitigated glory.

Susan Boyle had a dream to be a singer. She had reached the age of 47, an unemployed, ungainly, unmarried woman living in a small Scottish town with her cat Pebbles. If you saw Susan on the street you probably wouldn’t notice her. She is like most of us, faces that pass but are not memorable. If we do recall them it is often because they seem different. But Susan really was different. She held onto her dream and the years passed. Her mother was her most stalwart fan, and she too was gone. Susan wanted to give it one more try for her mother, and somehow she landed a spot on ‘Britain’s Got Talent.’

When a middle-aged Susan came out on stage on April 11, 2009, she had an air of bravado that elicited almost contempt from the audience. You can see it documented on the faces on U Tube. But then she began to sing “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables. A clear, strong, glorious voice shook the audience to its very core. She had barely completed a third of the song when the audience was on their feet, tears in some eyes and admiration in all. Shock had replaced any earlier emotions. They were swept away. I was swept away. It wasn’t just the luminosity of the voice or the improbability of the situation that moved us. It was the power of a realized dream. Yes, I do give thanks for the courage of dreamers. The world is gifted with a little more hope because they travel with us. For a time they show us the way and they remind us of how glorious the power of a dream really can be .

It happens every spring. The earth brings forth a riot of color. It’s almost like an explosion, all this new life that comes out of the ground. I am always a bit startled by its vigor and beauty. But mostly I am reminded how regular the seasons are and how powerful these natural cycles are in bringing forth new life. We are part of the cycle as well. And our instincts drive us to perpetuate ourselves as regularly as the seasons.

Yet our place in the natural order appears to be unique. We seem to have a level of self-awareness about our place in the order of things. We also have the capacity to change our environment in such a way as to alter natural rhythms of life. Our contribution to global warming appears to be an example of this. Our ability to manipulate the environment at times seems to exceed our understanding of how to live in harmony with it. Is this a price of self-awareness? The answer may not be that clear, but if we have this unique gift of self-awareness why do we continue to foul our nest?

One possibility may lie in our hubris, our pride and sense of entitlement. We tend to regard the environment as inferior and ourselves as superior. The environment exists to serve our needs and desires. We “own” it and have the right to change and manipulate it. Many cherished religious and intellectual beliefs hold this perspective. It is also interesting to note that the further removed we are from direct experience of the cycles of nature the more likely we are to abuse the environment. Urbanization is a real culprit here. Perhaps it is time to take another look at the beliefs of native cultures, for they have a strong sense of living in the web of nature. Living this way is a partnership rather than a relationship of dominance. Self-awareness may have allowed us to abuse our glorious planet, but it also is the source of our wisdom. Through wisdom we are reminded over and over that we are only one part of the cycle of life. We forget that at our peril.

The recent economic meltdown has created tremendous anxiety for many of us. We have moved into unknown territory after many years of relative stability. We all get worried sometimes, but many are feeling a level of fear that is new to them. They are so constantly worried about the future that they cannot relax. It isn’t that the fears are unrealistic, for some have a very real reason to be concerned about losing their work and their homes. The problem is that there are no clear answers at the moment or a sense when this economic downturn will end. People who are in survival mode often go right into action, but for those who are worried that it might happen to them, the fear and worry can be unrelenting. Both can begin to take a toll on physical and mental well being, and lead to a state of chronic anxiety.

What do we do to take care of ourselves when our anxiety is unrelenting? Realistically we have to ride out tough times. We can’t restore the past, but we will eventually move through this economic period. What we can do is to begin to take care of ourselves in a way that will keep our body and spirit as healthy as possible. We do this by working with our parasympathetic nervous system—which controls the body’s relaxation recovery system. Breathing slowly and softly, and focusing on things that quiet our feelings can be helpful. Exercise can burn off the adrenalin in the system and tends to quiet nervous jumpiness or restlessness. Listening to soothing music can also be quieting. All of these help to restore equilibrium and they also soothe the emotions and spirit.

Behind all of these ways of taking care of self we may discover a level of trust that things will change for the better. Understanding what brought this situation into our lives is empowering. We can’t control the economy but we can understand it. We can make use of our ability to understand it to help create a more stable situation in the future, for our vote counts. So consider that fear and anxiety just might be temporary. We will learn from this period in history, and we have the capacity to make a better future.